iCan't Remember a Thing
by seddie4thewin
Summary: Sam wakes up naked in Spencer's bed. She can't remember how she got there, what she did or with whom.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm rating this one T because of a few bad words here and there and of course the implication of what MIGHT have went down.**

The light coming through the slim gap in the window curtains was intense. Too intense for the headache Sam was sporting. She pulled the covers over her head to block the light, but the instant anything touched her skull, waves of pain shot through her like arrows.

"Gaaah! So this is what a hangover feels like?" She mumbled to herself. "Well, Mom tried to warn me. Just another hour or two and I'll feel better" She settled into the soft, flannel sheets that rubbed over her naked body preparing to drift off to dreamland once again.

The fabric tickled her hips as she snuggled her face into the big, fluffy pillow under her blonde head. "Wonder whose bed I'm in?" She thought for a moment, completely forgetting the fact that she was nude, before opening an eye and searching the room for any clue as to where she was. Her eyes attempted to focus on the blue numbers of the clock sitting on the bedside table. 11:53. "AM or PM?" She said aloud to the clock. "Dumass!"

Next, her blue eyes came to bear on the outline of a gigantic egg made of egg cartons sitting in the one corner. "Hah, that looks like the thing Spencer made for the art show last fall." She thought to herself. Slowly, she lifted her head and looked around the room a bit more. The light cut into her eyes like a knife but it helped illuminate some of her surroundings. There was a wardrobe with both doors standing open, men's clothing hanging on every conceivable part of it. Sweatshirts and jeans, jogging shorts and t-shirts, even a tuxedo hung neatly on a clothes tree beside the tall cupboard. Yes, this was clearly a man's room.

"Shit!" She mumbled, still not realizing where she was. She rolled over onto her back and the bed clothes rubbed over her bare breasts. Suddenly it dawned on her that she was as naked as the day she was born, in a strange man's bed. "Shit!" She repeated a little louder before a sudden ache hit a certain part of her lower body. "Ah, man, what the fudge did I do?"

 _Flashback to the evening before:_

 _Carly and Spencer had thrown a huge graduation party for all her friends. By eight o'clock there were dozens of teenagers laughing, dancing and having a great time. For many, this would be one of their last chances to be together. College would separate them in just a short while. Even before that, several were heading off to summer internships and a few would soon be leaving for boot camp._

 _Sam and Freddie had still not gotten back together. In fact, he seemed to have been quite chummy with a certain red head named Wendy ever since their senior class trip. Sam watched on as the two talked quietly away from the majority of the crowd at the party. If she had to put a description on it, jealousy would come to mind. Then again, so would contempt and utter disgust. While Sam found her relationship with Wendy to be that of a friend by times, she had a side that Sam could not stand. Namely her gossipy, nosey side that meant she always seemed to know everyone else's business but kept hers under lock and key._

 _Freddie and Wendy weren't dating, at least not that she knew. They just seemed to be spending more time together than Sam would prefer. Freddie was her nub, her punching bag, her second best friend, the one and only boy she ever truly had any feelings for and most importantly the one person on the face of the Earth she could confide in. If he and Wendy were chummy, there was no way he was going to hear any more of her deep, dark secret feelings for fear they'd be common knowledge within hours._

 _Sam herself had not managed to find a steady boyfriend since Freddie. She did date here and there, but not seriously. It didn't help matters any that most of the guys in their class were either afraid of her or found her to be boorish and crude. The only reason she even had a 'date' for the prom was because she agreed to go along with Carly, Freddie and the rest of their crew and wound up hanging out with Gibby of all people because his girlfriend ended up coming down with food poisoning the day of the big event. She had fun but there were never any feeling for the big boy other than what could only be described as her own twisted version of friendship._

 _Of course, Spencer was also at the party and he had invited a few of his friends. Why not, he was paying for the event after all. His best buddy Socko was there along with a couple of other guys and a few girls close to their age. For the major part the twenty-somethings gave the teens their space and contented themselves with more 'mature conversation and activities'. One of the girls, a devilish kind of raven-haired friend of Socko's cousin managed to slip in some 'adult beverages' much to Spencer's objection._

 _It didn't take long for the teens came to realize there was alcohol to be had and one by one they began to slip a few shots in. Sam was no exception. Despite her mother's warnings about it, and Carly's adamant objections, she decided to give it a try. The first drink she had was rum. It tasted sweet and alcohol-y at the same time. She went back for another but there was none to be had. Next she tried vodka, but ended up choking and making a fool out of herself until a classmate turned her on to bourbon. It wasn't a good as the rum, but it was a close second and as anyone would expect, Sam attempted to overdo it. She didn't simply drink shot after shot, she paced herself, but despite her small size she was poised to put away at least a fifth all by herself._

 _Somewhere around the sixth or seventh drink, Carly caught up with her and attempted to admonish her for drinking. Sam rolled her eyes, said she could handle herself and thought no more about it._

 _Realizing she wasn't going to dissuade her friend from the liquor, Carly began to yammer on about some guy she had suddenly developed a crush on. Sam began to glare at her ex-boyfriend and the gossip queen of Ridgeway from across the room. The alcohol now coursing through her veins not only gave her an enhanced sense of entitlement but it also began to cloud her judgment._

 _"Check out Fred-stud over there chatting up little Miss Busy-Body." She nodded toward them. "Guess he's got a case of ginger-itis." Sam snorted a laugh. "Get it? Ginger-itis, 'cause she's a ginger. I wonder of those freckles are all over?"_

 _Carly knew she wouldn't normally say something like that about Wendy. "No more booze, Sam." Carly repeated. "You're going to end up saying or doing something you'll regret. Or at least hurling into the only house plant my brother hasn't managed to kill."_

 _"Fine. Mom." Sam huffed, having no intention of following suit. Carly again began to talk about the guy she was swooning over and Sam's attention faded away. How could she get Freddie's attention? How could she get him to come over and talk to her and save her from this horrible conversation about David or Darren or Dickey or what the frick ever his name was. But more importantly how could she get him away from that damn redhead that he had been glued to for the last hour._

 _She glanced around the room and spotted Spencer dancing with one of the girls his own age that Socko brought along. The blonde sauntered over to him and asked to cut in. Spencer stammered a bit of an un-answer as the older female moved away. Maybe if Freddie saw them dancing it would make him jealous and he'd come over to her._

 _"Relax, dude. I'm not trying to make a move on you, I just want to dance. I think." She said with a wink. She knew the liquor was making her feel funny, down there, but she didn't think she'd ever do anything about it, especially with Spencer._

 _Deep down inside, she thought of Spencer as a brother and at the moment he was merely a means to the end of making Freddie jealous. The tech producer knew that in her younger days she had a crush on the artist and she knew that he knew that. But Spencer did smell good. "Say, what kind of cologne is that? You really smell nice, it kind of turns me on." She spoke seductively and stroked his forearm before she realized what she was doing and immediately blushed._

 _"Uh, Sam, have you been drinking?" The tall man asked. "I'm really not comfortable with you kids using alcohol. I know I'm not the most responsible adult in the world but even I know this is illegal. And honestly I could end up in jail for hosting this little shin dig if one of you gets into trouble or some chiz."_

 _"Aw, chill, Spencer. No one here's driving home and you know I'm not going to be giving out hummers in the elevator or anything. It's not like I'm wasted. Yet." She snickered and gave him a flirty look, though she didn't know why._

 _Sam made her way back to the drink table and got another shot or whiskey. And then another. She didn't see Freddie, Carly, or any of her classmates after that, at least not that she could remember. There was a vague recollection of Spencer and the girl he had been dancing with earlier arguing about something and the older, busty female with short, dark hair leaving in a huff._

 _End of flashback._

Sam stood, or rather attempted to stand and stumbled backwards onto the bed where she discovered several pieces of her clothing. She slipped on the shirt she remembered wearing last night to cover her upper body. On the floor beside the bed she spotted her bra and underwear. She quickly slipped the light blue boy-shorts over her legs and pulled them up over her apple shaped bottom, holding the bra in her left hand before saying "Screw it." to the lacy black, under wire laden device and dropping it back onto the floor. "Some dude gets a souvenir, I didn't like that one anyway."

She had to find pants, she certainly wasn't going anywhere in just her panties so she began a more frantic search. Managing to stand, this time with the assistance of the wall, she took a couple of shaky steps toward the window. Hanging on the back of the desk chair she found what she believed to be her pants, neatly folded and draped properly. How did they get there? And why the hell were they folded?

Feeling a sudden wave of nausea, she took a seat on the desk chair, grabbed the nearby trash can and after dumping out it's contents onto the floor, threw up into it. "Key-rist, I've never puked so much in my life." She grumbled a few minutes later, hanging her head between her knees. On the floor, among the litter she dumped out of the wastebasket earlier, she spotted something that made her cringe, a used condom. And another, and another. "Gross!"

That dull ache in a certain part of her body made her wonder exactly how the person, or people, who used the condoms felt. And why she felt funny down there, there was no explaining. It definitely felt like something happened that had never happened before.

She pulled the pants on and when she stood to button them she glanced at the desk and saw something that made her heart stop. A picture of Carly in her graduation gown. "Holy frickin' crap!" She gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth. "This is Spencer's room." She had only ever been in there at night to film 'Wake up Spencer' segments and really didn't look around much at the time, but it was starting to look familiar.

As she tried to compose herself, bits and pieces of the previous night began to run through her aching brain. There was the dance they shared, how good he smelled, him scolding her for drinking and then an image of a kiss. A kiss with her best friend's older brother. "No. No. No. No." She chanted. "This isn't happening. I did not do anything with him."

Another flashback popped into her mind, Spencer holding her bridal style and carrying her back the hallway while she flirted with him and ran her hands through his hair. "Oh God, this is not happening!"

Now a memory of him laying her down on the bed and standing there folding up her pants and carefully draping them over the chair back. "Holy frickin' crap! I screwed Spencer! Three times, apparently!"

What else could have happened? Her legs were sore and shaky, there were the sketchy memories of last evening's events and three used rubbers in the can. Not to mention waking up naked in his damn bed. And then there was the feeling in her crotch like she had been kicked by a mule.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" She began to panic as she thought about now having to do the 'walk of shame' out of the bedroom. Maybe if she could make her way to the living room it would look like she simply spent the night on the sofa. After all, she slept there more often than her own house. That might work, if she could make it to the couch, Carly would have no clue about this. And she sure as hell wasn't going to tell her.

After another round of throwing up, she tried her best to compose herself. Looking into the mirror on the back of the door, she realized her hair was a mess and ran her hands through it in an attempt to make it more presentable. Opening the bedroom door slowly, she listened and panicked once more. The TV was on, and it sounded like Girly Cow. That could mean only one thing. Carly! Then a guy's voice. Freddie! "Son of a . . . " She muttered. "They're both sitting out there, laying in wait for me to come out. And if he's here, Wendy's not far away. Shit, the whole world will know about this in an hour!" But where was Spencer, more than anyone she wanted to avoid him.

An even better question was how the hell was she going to get out of there without being spotted. Maybe she could sneak out while they were watching the show. If she could make it to the stairs, she could quietly crash in the studio to gather her thoughts. Maybe even use the private elevator to get out of the apartment altogether. There was also the back door in the kitchen. Yes! That would work, she could slink along the kitchen floor like a snake and slip out the back door.

Carefully, quietly, she opened the bedroom door wide and slid along the wall toward the main living area of the apartment. Twenty feet, eighteen, fifteen, now only twelve feet and she could duck under the stairs. Then a short pop around the corner on her belly to the kitchen and the sanctuary of the counter. With one eye glued on the back of her friends' heads sitting on the couch, she tip-toed to the back side of the steps. She was just thankful only Carly and Freddie were present. Maybe Spencer was doing something with one of his own friends.

Carly and Freddie were silent and staring at the screen. She would have made it, had it not been for Spencer himself opening the main apartment door and coming in with Mrs. Benson on his heels. Sam froze in place, praying she could camouflage herself into the surroundings like a chameleon.

"I should have you thrown in jail, you hooligan. What kind of adult provides alcohol for teenagers. You are a disgrace, Spencer. Do you realize if any of those children got into an accident on the way home or anything you would be held accountable?"

"And everyone who had been drinking stayed, Marissa." He argued. "This place looked like Jonestown by daybreak with all the kids laying around. And why are you all worked up, anyway? It's not like Freddie drank more than root beer last evening."

"Root beer!" She gasped and clutched her chest, like he had been hitting the Scotch.

"Yes, root beer. You should really be proud of Freddie. He was the only responsible teenager here. Even Carly drank." He shot a dirty look toward his sister before spotting the blonde. "Oh, hey Sam. Finally got up, I see."

"Hey, Sam. How's your head?" Carly asked, turning around to face her friend. "Mine's killing me, I can't imagine how you must feel as plowed as you were."

Freddie stood up and began to approach and it was more than she could take. If he ever found out that she hooked up with Spencer, her life was over. First off, that big mouthed Wendy would find out about it, plus he would never have enough respect for her in order to date her ever again, something she had been hoping for since they broke up a year and a half ago. Without saying a word, Sam bolted from the apartment, out the main door like she was on fire. She didn't know what else to do or where to go. All she knew was she wouldn't be able to face her friends ever again.

"What's eating her?" Freddie shrugged and walked up to his mother. "C'mon, Mom. I think we need to let Carly and Spencer have a little talk." Deep down inside there was another reason he was worried about Sam, but he couldn't tip that hand in from of his mother.

"This isn't over, Spencer." Marissa huffed and pointed her slender finger to the artist as Freddie motioned her toward the door. "I am going to have strong words at the tenant's committee meeting about this situation."

Freddie held his mother's arm and led her away. "Honestly, Mom. What's the big deal? Like he said, it's not like I drank anything stronger than soda."

"Exactly! You know how I feel about sugary drinks!"

As soon as the Bensons left, Carly admonished her brother. "Mrs. Benson's right, you know?"

"Excuse me!" Spencer glared at her. " _I_ wasn't the minor who was drinking. In fact, I didn't touch a drop. Sure, Socko and I might have went up to the roof to fire up a . . . um, you know what, never mind."

"So I tried a little alcohol. I had, like, two drinks and this is a lesson, believe me. I swear on this pounding headache, it cured me of drinking. I just wonder how poor Sam is feeling. She was completely sloshed."

"Tell me about it, she tried to kiss me!" Spencer snipped. "And Brad and I think maybe even Tasha before finally honing in on Freddie."

"Yeah, who would have thought drunk Sam equals frisky Sam." Carly giggled. "At least you didn't spend the night beside her. It only took her about ten seconds to lose all her clothes as soon as you left the room, let me tell you. I was afraid she was going to molest me in my sleep and she probably would have tried if she didn't pass out."

"Speaking of which, did you ever figure out who locked you out of your bedroom?"

"Yes, Tasha texted me. It was her and Gibby. By the way, I need to burn my mattress."

Spencer just shivered at the thought.

"Did you ever hear back from Monica?" Carly asked her brother.

"No. And I doubt I ever will. She was totally wazzed off when she saw Sam try to lay that kiss on me. I mean, first off, I'm not interested in Sam, she's young enough to be my sister. And second Monica and I weren't exclusive. That should have been obvious earlier in the evening when Socko and I . . . um, never mind."

"I don't even want to know." She shook her head.

 **Alright, so what did Sam do and who did she do it with?**


	2. Chapter 2

**OK so last time Sam was freaking out about waking up in Spencer's bed with no clothes on. Some of the reviews guessed where this was going. Thanks for following the story and all. This is the second and final chapter so I hope the ending is at least funny.**

After bolting from the Shay's, Sam had returned to her home and flopped down on her bed, her head still pounding. "Holy hell! Can this day get any worse?" She grumbled into her pillow.

Her mother had seen her come in and go upstairs and knew full well a walking hangover when she saw one. Sam lifted her head off the pillow to see Pam standing in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. "Yeah, it can." Sam mumbled to herself at the sight of the middle aged woman in a bikini top and short shorts that were both two sizes too small.

"So, had a few drinks at the party I see." Pam smirked. "I tried to warn you, ol' girl."

"Yes, mother and I don't think I'll be drinking again any time soon. My freakin' head feels like an over inflated basketball."

"Best testament against drinking, kiddo. A heluva hangover." Pam shrugged. "I just hope you didn't do anything too stupid while you were blitzed."

"Me too, Mom. Me too." Sam sat up and held her head with both hands.

"C'mon downstairs and have some orange juice. It always helps me with a hangover. And there's a fresh bottle of Excedrin in the bathroom cabinet for your headache."

It took two days before Sam emerged from her house and another three before she could face any of her friends. Dozens of calls from Carly went unanswered. Twice as many calls and texts from Freddie were ignored as well. No one saw or heard from her and everyone wondered if she was alright.

Finally on Friday afternoon, Sam decided to reestablish contact with someone. She sent Freddie a text with two words 'fire escape' and hoped he would understand her request. Nearly an hour later Sam was perched on the fire escape and Freddie pushed open his window to join her.

"Thought you were gonna stand me up, nub."

"I was at the mall with Gibby and Brad. This was the first day my mom allowed me out of my room for more than a meal."

"Seriously, she grounded you? She does realize you're leaving for college in a couple months and you're not thirteen anymore, right?" Sam shook her head.

"Well, she was super pissed so I didn't argue with her about it, it's not like I had anywhere to go anyway. I needed to do a lot of thinking."

"So what were you and the geek squad up to?"

"We were going to see Galaxy Wars nine: The Final Galaxy." He proudly announced.

"Sorry to interrupt your nerd-fest, but I needed to talk." She said no more, she needed to know if her secrets were still safe with him but didn't know how to ask. "I'd offer to make it up to you, but I think I'd have to kill myself if I ever actually paid money to see a Galaxy Wars movie."

Freddie was worried about something completely different. More than a jab at his favorite movie franchise, he was afraid she remembered something else and wanted to strangle him, or worse never speak to him again. His curious side got the better of him after a minute or two, he spoke up. "So. Talk."

"What's up with you and Wendy?" Sam blurted out, sounding more like a jealous ex-girlfriend than she would have liked.

"Um, we're friends. Why? Are you jealous?" He chided with a tone that told her he knew she was.

"Psh, No! It's just you two have been spending a lot of time together lately and I know how much she loves to gossip. If I tell you something, I don't want it getting all over town."

Freddie chuckled. "So you're worried if you tell me something in confidence, and Wendy and I share pillow talk, she'll suddenly know all your deep, dark secrets?"

"Something like that." Sam sure as hell wasn't going to admit what else was going on unless she knew he wasn't going to blab it to anyone.

"Alright, first of all, you're, like, my closest friend. If you tell me something in confidence, I tell no one. Not Carly, not Gibby, not some random girlfriend, absolutely no one. And second, don't you think you're barking up the wrong tree altogether if you suspect there's anything going on between Wendy and I."

"Well, you two seem like you're joined at the hip for the last couple of months. Did you two end up hooking up on spring break or something and not telling anyone?"

"Oh, God, Sam. No. I'm not really her type." He said as Sam looked at him funny.

"You're a guy, right? That makes you her type. Wendy's even more boy-crazy than Carly most of the time."

Freddie looked puzzled. "Wait, you really don't know do you?"

"Know what? That you're a gigantic nub. Yeah, I think I figured that one out a few years ago." She shoved his shoulder.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Wendy and I won't be having any pillow talk because there's no pillow involved. Never was, never will be. Wendy likes girls. She's gay, Sam."

"Huh? Since when? She told me herself about having sex with at least two different guys over last summer. Then there was when she dated Pete in junior year. And Marvin at homecoming, she can't be gay."

"She says she figured it out after she kissed Jessica Dorchester a couple of months ago. But even though they tried to keep it quiet, Jess's dad found out and sent her to some stupid camp to 'reform' her or something the minute he found out. Now Wendy's all depressed and lonely and chiz."

"Well why have you two been acting all couple-y? Maybe she's got something for you, how do you know she's not bi."

"We haven't been couple-y." Freddie sighed and made a confession. "It started off with me asking her if she heard anything about a certain girl liking me back before the prom. For some reason, she felt the need to come out to me, although I don't have a clue why. But lately, she's been trying to help me with this girl. And I've been writing to Jess for her because the counselors at her camp will only let her have contact with boys. That and Wendy needs someone to talk to about this whole mess. Seems her parents aren't exactly the most supportive either. Maybe I should change from MIT and go to college to be a shrink or something."

"Shit, that's all?"

"Yes, Sam. But now I think I screwed up royally because I kind of hooked up with her. The girl I like, not Wendy. Obviously." Freddie was ready to talk about his worries for a minute. "Thing is, she was totally smashed and I doubt she remembers anything about it. And I really like her and I want to be her boyfriend but maybe she just said she would go out with me and did, um intimate stuff because she was drunk."

"Freddie, You're a great guy and whoever this girl is she's a fool if she can't see that, drunk or sober as a priest. If you think this chick was drunk and can't remember any of it you'll just have to man up and ask her out and see what happens. If she's smart she'll give you a shot. If she doesn't, she's not worth worrying about because she's a complete loser."

Freddie chuckled and then blushed when their eyes met. "You really don't remember any of it?" He remembered every second but was too embarrassed to tell her what went down.

"The party? No, I don't remember a damn minute. I just know I woke up naked in Spencer's bed. Man, I feel like a total skunk bag, too. I mean what kind of slut screws their best friend's brother? Her older brother that's like, what almost thirty or something?"

"Um, that's not exactly what happened, Sam." Freddie was more than aware what happened, he just wished Sam would remember something, anything, so he wouldn't have to tell her.

"And how the chiz would you know?" Sam threw her hands in the air. "Oh, shit, did he go and brag about it. Good God, I'll never be able to look him or Carly in the face again."

"Gheesh, Sam. You didn't sleep with Spencer!"

Sam just looked at him funny. "You're really serious? You mean, I - I didn't lose my virginity to Spencer."

Freddie snorted a laugh. "Hardly."

"What's so frickin' funny, nub?"

"You and Spencer. Yeah right. That's like me and Carly hooking up." He continued to snicker. "Not gonna happen."

"It could happen. There were condoms, Freddie. Used condoms in Spencer's trash can. Three of them as a matter of fact. It's how I know I did it with him. And apparently a lot the way my cooch felt."

He just blushed at the thought. This was going to be more difficult than he thought. "I think he goes for a different type of woman. Let's just say he prefers girls who are a little less inhibited than a teen who is not only his little sister's best friend but graduated from high school still a virgin." Spencer had told Freddie about some of his exploits over the years and he knew the artist had a bit of a wild side that he hid from Carly and Sam.

"But I had sex, Freddie. I - I 'm a virgin anymore. I'm sure of it."

Freddie knew this to be a fact as well but said no more and changed the subject. "If you're so worried you did something stupid you need to sit down and talk to Spencer, he can assure you that nothing happened between you two."

"Oh, no. I'm never facing that man again. I can't look him in the eye. Not that I remember what happened, but he does, I heard him say he wasn't drunk that night. The most he had was a little weed but don't tell Carly about that. She doesn't know that I know he smokes when he's with Socko and them."

"Come on, Sam. Think about this. If he was sober do you really think he would have hooked up with you?"

"If you know so much, just tell me what happened before I kick your nubby ass."

"Maybe you should talk to Carly then. She can reconstruct the evening for you. She had a couple of drinks but she wasn't totally out of it." He stood up and offered her his hand. "Come on. I promise you, there is nothing to be ashamed of." He and the brunette had plenty of time, sans Sam, to discuss what happened over the last several days and Carly knew everything, clear down to the last little details.

Sam and Freddie entered the Shay's apartment to find Carly sitting on the couch reading and Spencer working on an art project over on the kitchen table.

"Sam! Oh my gosh, I was so worried about you." Carly ran over to the blonde and threw her arms around her. "When you didn't call or text back I thought you fell into a black hole or got arrested or something."

Freddie, on the other hand, was worried she would have regrets about her activities of the last weekend.

"I'm fine, Carls. Can't really remember more than flashes of what happened at the party, but I just know I'm not going to be drinking again any time soon."

"Tell me about it." The brunette agreed. "Nothing stronger that root beer for this girl."

"Anyway, Fredbag here tells me you might be able to help me piece together how much stupid chiz I did that night."

"Well, I can try. What do you need help with? How much do you remember?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just a second here and there. I woke up in Spencer's room with a huge hangover and I was na . . . " She looked over at Spencer who was clearly within earshot, so she whispered the next part. "I think we need to go upstairs to talk about this."

Carly led Sam and Freddie to her room but didn't close the door. "Have a seat, guys. But, um don't sit on the bed."

"What's wrong with the bed?" Sam asked. "Did someone else pop their cherry at the party?" She wiggled her eyebrows and poked the other girl in the ribs with her elbow. "Carly? You get with Darren?"

"His name was Dylan and No! No way am I hooking up with that dude!" Carly was shocked Sam would even think that. "Gibby and Tasha commandeered my room."

"Eeeewww!" Both Sam and Freddie said. This was something he hadn't heard about before.

"So where were we?" Carly asked. "I think you were just telling me you woke up naked in Spencer's bed. Is that really all you remember?"

"I didn't tell you that I was naked. Oh my God, did he tell you? Dammit, I tried to yell you, Freddie." She began slapping him about the head.

"Sam, stop hitting Freddie! No one had to tell me anything. I was there!" Carly snickered.

"Huh? Um, no offense Carls, but that's beyond effed up."

Carly huffed. "I was there, Spencer wasn't! Since my room was, lets just say, occupied, Spencer let us sleep in his room. He crashed on the sofa and we slept on his bed."

"OK. But why was I naked? And why did I wake up feeling like my girly parts were hit by a truck?"

Carly snickered and glanced at Freddie. "Well, I can answer part of that. You barely had your butt on the bed before you were stripping. You see, you passed out and Spencer carried you back and plopped your unconscious body on the bed. Next thing I knew you pulled your pants off and threw them at him. He folded them up for you and barely got out of the room before you lost your shirt and bra."

"So Spencer didn't see me naked?"

"Lord, no. He ran out the door with his hands over his eyes before things got too out of hand. I thought you were going to stop with just having the twins out for some fresh air but as soon as you got under the covers, off came the panties." Carly snickered.

"Carly! Don't say that word!"

Freddie was full on laughing by now.

"What's so damn funny, nub?"

"Nothing." He bit his lip to stop giggling. "Panties." He snickered.

"That still doesn't explain the part about my vag feeling like it ran a marathon."

"You'll have to ask someone else about that part. Freddie you wanna take this one?" Carly looked at the boy.

"Me?" He choked and stopped giggling, his face suddenly flushed.

"Him?" Sam ripped her eyes open.

"He was there!" Carly smirked at the boy.

"He was there? Wait, you mean him and I? Oh, Christ, I screwed the nub?"

Freddie sighed, he was afraid this would be her reaction. After you tried to kiss Spencer, and Brad and then Tasha, next you came onto me. I've gotta admit it shocked me at first, but you were dead serious. I tried to calm you down but you were hell bent on making out. You've got to believe me, I wanted to resist at first but you kept pushing and well, you know I really like your lips, so I just went with the flow. Then we saw Spencer and two other people coming out of his bedroom and you suggested it was our turn.

"Oh my God! You mean I even suggested it?" Sam hung her head.

"Every step of the way, Sam." He smiled and tried to look into her eyes. "I thought all we were going to do was make out and maybe grope a little. But when you started to take your clothes off, I knew what you wanted. I've actually wanted to get back together with you and you said if we did it, we could go out again. I really wasn't comfortable doing it without us being official, but I, um, I was a virgin too and you had me so turned on I couldn't help myself. I'm just glad that box of condoms was sitting on his dresser because I certainly wasn't prepared for what we did."

"So we're really, um, you mean you really want to get back together with me?" She questioned. "But wait, Carly said Spencer carried me back the hallway and put me to bed. How'd I go to bed twice?"

"After we, uh, you know, were intimate we got dressed and went out to the fire escape because you wanted to get some fresh air." He explained and carefully took her hand. "I knew it was a bad idea but you made up your mind and hell and all wasn't going to stop you."

Carly interrupted. "That's about when I discovered I was locked out of my room and I felt like I was going to die of a headache so Spencer told me to go sleep in his room. There were people passed out everywhere and that Monica chick with the big boobs was still giving Spencer hell. I really didn't care, all I wanted to do was sleep, so I went to bed."

Freddie took over the conversation. "And after we sat out on the fire escape and talked for about an hour, you damn near passed out and fell over the edge so I called Spencer to help me haul your drunk butt back inside and that's when he carried you into the bedroom and put you down on the bed with Carly. I slept on the floor outside the bedroom door to make sure you didn't wander off and fall down the elevator shaft or something."

"So I really didn't do it with Spencer?" Sam reiterated.

"NO!" Carly and Freddie shouted in unison.

"Thank God!" Sam jumped up in victory. "Well, I've gotta admit one thing, Fredwad. I'm impressed. There were three condoms in that trash can. And I was sore for days. Who would have thought you had it in you." Sam grabbed his butt and squeezed, causing him to jump. "So I guess my new boyfriend's a real stud."

"We only did it once, Sam." Freddie shook his head almost ashamed. "But thanks, anyway."

"T.M.I. guys." Carly covered her ears. "And I think you're supposed to be sore after the first time."

"I think I can explain the extra rubbers." Spencer said after knocking lightly on the door frame. He had brought a bowl of mixed fruit and some drinks up for the teens, if for no other reason that to listen in.

"Well, spill." Sam threw her hands in the air. "Don't keep us hanging. Who else did Fredbag hump on?"

"It wasn't me!"

"Um, you remember Monica?" The teens all nodded at Spencer. "After Socko and I went up on the roof for a little smoke, she came up and joined us and we were all feeling a little, well, let's just say we were ready to go and she suggested a three way. And, man who could resist those ta-ta's. So we hit the bedroom and, you can figure out the rest, you guys are all big enough. That accounts for the other two."

Sam looked at Spencer with an eyebrow raised. Freddie blushed at the implication and Carly's mouth fell open.

"Holy hell! First two of my friends borrow my bed and befowl it, two more of my friends get drunk, decide to start going out and then lose their virginity to each other."

"Um, Carls. I wasn't the least bit drunk." Freddie interjected.

"What! Ever!" Carly stomped her foot. "Now I find out my brother not only smokes weed but him and his buddy spit roasted some girl on his bed when I was right out there in the living room." She shook her head. "I think this is the last party I host."

 **Happy V-Day to all!**


End file.
